Aimless

Hosanna

2010-04-01T00:04:00.000-04:00

So I've been tryin to get back on the wagon with being more intentional with my Bible reading as of late, and while the results haven't exactly worked out, on the rare occasion I get it done, it always comes out applying eerily well to the situation at hand. Some might say that you just naturally read your own situation and thoughts into anything you look at, and I'd have the same results reading the newspaper, but I'll hold to my natural ability to disagree.

All that aside, tonight I'm reading John 12(found here for reference)
and something struck me as funny. The word, "hosanna," as my footnotes told me, was an old word meaning both, "to save" and is also a word of praise. Indeed, good ol' wikipedia bears out similar info where it also notes that the original Hebrew word, "hoshana" was mostly identified with the Feast of Sukkot, or the Feast of Tabernacles, which in part commemorated the wandering of the Israelites in the desert. (it also celebrated the yearly harvest in their new realm of the Promised Land, so nice dichotomy there) So the reason I mention all of this is that the reason why I keep "falling off the wagon" in regards to pretty much anything spiritual is that my attitude just doesn't fit it. I tend to be more focused on the fact that I feel depressed, or tired, or angry, etc. Why should I focus on worship and prayer, when I just wanna be focused on bein down? But that's the thing, praise and prayer go hand in hand because being grateful to God and being desperate to get out of your situation do to! Why do I continually fall back on believing things need to be right before I reach back out to Him, rather than reaching out first? Why do I feel like I gotta stop feeling depressed before I can spend some quiet time alone with the Father? I wanna get through the crashing waves and the storming sea of Galilee BEFORE I go alone up to the mountain to pray, when it should so obviously be the other way around!

Anyways, my two cents about where I'm at...

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

2009-06-17T13:52:00.000-04:00

So I was talking with my friend Marianne last night, and bemoaning the fact that more and more I feel like the daily grind is killing me. I feel like all I ever manage to accomplish these days is going to work and then going home, with a light sprinkling of sociality and going to church on Sundays. I feel like the stress of life keeps pulling me back down, so that my head never quite gets above water. I worry about work, I worry about money, I worry about finding the "love of my life." I want and crave the day when my life can become comfortable, when I can settle down into being a husband, and a father, to volunteer in some ministry, and work hard at my job. I long for the day when I don't feel like I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and Thursday is a long day of stress and hoping that once the direct deposit goes through on Friday everything will be ok.

Then, this morning, for my devotions, I read this: http://tinyurl.com/mfb2wo

And I feel like kicking myself in the face and thanking God for it. It's not the daily grind that's killing me, it's my focus on it. It's not that I have to long for some future "comfortable" life, cause chances are that's only ever going to exist on "Leave it to Beaver." Life starts when I want it to, when I stick my head above the waves and stop looking at the water and start looking at Jesus. While my lack of faith is disturbing I cry out, "I believe! Help my unbelief!" And the waters calm and the walk begins anew.

Go team!

How I met the most important person in my life

2009-05-24T00:14:00.000-04:00

So I've been reading the devotional blog for Vineyard Westside, today's entry and it appealed to me. Why am I so afraid to bring up Jesus at work? For the last year or so I've been more and more reticent to mention God, Jesus, the Bible, or anything else that would be a standard answer to a 1st grader sunday school question. Hell, in fact, I've been known to claim agnosticism now and then. Mostly in the past it's had to do with the fact that my own relationship with God was teetering on it's edge, and my lifestyle and attitude was sorely lacking. I am more than a bit of an ass, and my hormones have a bit more free reign on my actions then they have a right to. I'm often embarrassed to talk about Jesus to people who know me, not because I'm afraid of what they might think of me afterwards, but of what they might think of him. My attitude, my "whinyness," or, worse yet, my on again off again periods of malaise and self-pity. I want to wear Him well, and I can't help but wonder if He's embarrassed of me at times. But the answer is not to be overwhelmed with guilt, rather to wear my weaknesses as a point of pride, to brag of my failings as how He's saving me still. To "beat my breast and proclaim the name of the Lord." Now to just figure out how to do that...

2009-05-23T18:38:00.001-04:00

"Gold there is, and rubies in abundance, but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel."

2009-05-23T14:16:00.001-04:00

"humans are amazing creatures. All the wonders of the universe, and they created boredom."

2009-05-22T21:31:00.001-04:00

"Destiny got you dressed this morning, now fear is trying to take your pants off." -The Tick

Do not forsake the fellowship

2009-05-20T01:29:00.000-04:00

I really need to get into a small group.

I've been listening to mp3s of the sermons from VCC's series on The Creed, specifically the Nicean Creed, and a comment was made about the importance of unity within the congregation. A unity of purpose, a unity of spirit, and I got to thinking. Lately I've been feeling more and more that there's something missing and I can't help but think that it's the loss of connection and community within my spiritual life. I have some very good and close friends, but over the past year we just haven't had time to get together and hang out. What's more, the close friends that I have don't share my same perspective on faith. While normally this is one of the things I enjoy about them, they keep me grounded and offer alternative views, there are some situations I'm struggling with lately that I just can't discuss with them, they simply don't understand where I'm coming from I think. I want very much to grow in my walk with Christ, and as the verse says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I need some brothers in Christ I can turn to, and that I can trust to hold me accountable.

Growth

2009-05-19T02:07:00.000-04:00

So I found an old blog of mine a while back:

http://madmonk3030.xanga.com/

It's odd, in some ways I wish I could get back to some of those feelings, when I made a higher priority of reading God's Word and prayer. When I had a more devotional outlook, but at the same time, I can't help but think I'm better off now. I mean, I know my relationship with God leaves a lot to be desired, and there are a number of decisions that I've made in the last year or so that I regret, I know too that I'm back on track. And when I'm done, I'll be in even better shape than before, my sins and my mistakes have taught me lessons I wouldn't have learned otherwise, and I really don't think I would want to trade that for anything. I really do look forward to meeting the man I am growing to be, and I want to make the best decisions now to make his arrival as speedy as possible.

Two Women

2009-05-19T00:37:00.001-04:00

I've been reading Proverbs lately, and the other day, a thought struck me

When I was a kid reading the passages, I could never understand the choice between the two women that appear throughout the book. I mean, you have the woman Wisdom, who cries out from the towers that all who come to her will gain long life and riches. She seems so obvious, so matronly, so masterful. Why would anyone not choose to follow her?

Then you have the other woman, Folly. her way leads to death. She comes to you and asks you to follow her back to her home, where her bed is made and spiced, while her husband is away. You would think she seems someone to avoid as a matter of course.

But now, as an adult, I know better. Wisdom seems intimidating. Her maturity seems unattainable, her purity untouchable. She makes you wait, she demands that you control yourself, she demands that you be better. She asks you to be honest, both with her and yourself. She'll try to keep you from getting ahead of yourself, and keep you grounded.

Folly, she calls late at night and says she misses you, she leans in close in the car and breathing in your ear, telling you she's had such a great time. She doesn't wear her wedding band around you, won't mention her husband until you're already thinking about her more often than you should. She'll tell you how sweet you are, how happy you make her. She'll know just when you're loneliest, and that's when she'll be there.

But Folly will leave you, lost, and even more alone than before. You'll follow her for a night, but by morning you'll be broken, and empty. You'll feel nothing but shame and regret. Hardness will become your constant companion, despair your close ally. You'll be left feeling dirty, and worthless, wondering why anyone should befriend you at all. You'll look in the mirror and see someone not even worthy of pity, only rebuke.

And Wisdom? She may seem distant, she may not give you the immediate gratification your flesh desires, but you know, you trust, that she will give the the life worth living. She will spur you on to bigger, and better things. She'll lead you down the paths of ridicule, but at the end all will praise you for your integrity. She may not be ready to take to you in the middle of the night, but she'll be there in the morning

2009-05-17T10:46:00.001-04:00

I pray for discernment, desire the will to employ it, and cling to grace because I really suck at the first two.

bragglepooper

2009-05-13T16:30:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I really wish I could be as rational and non-emotional as I pretend to be. Sometimes I wish I had the level of control over my silly stupid heart as I aspire to. Ah well.

2009-05-12T19:03:00.001-04:00

I really wish the waiter would stop refilling my wine. I'm gonna get in trouble soon.

2009-05-12T18:07:00.001-04:00

If I had to make a list of the top five best and worst things to happen today all of them would involve me having alcohol around my coworkers. This should be in

2009-05-12T14:18:00.001-04:00

Could do with a little less confusion in my life

2009-05-12T13:33:00.001-04:00

born free, as free as the wind blows...

Church and gay marriage

2009-05-10T15:35:00.000-04:00

So I made a comment about how I think Church's should support the legalization of gay marriage, there were a few people who got a little offended. When I commented on this on my status message via Ping.fm(a fabulous site, btw, it lets me use my cell phone to randomly run my mouth off to a much larger audience than before) a few interesting comments were made. Since the comment section on Facebook wouldn't allow me to fit my response into it's block, I'm posting it here:

Here's my issue with that, it's not an argument about morality when discussing legality. I agree, if one accepts a traditional evangelical view of the Authority of Scripture there is a clear case to be made for the morality of a homosexual practice, but when you're discussing legality that's a very different issue. We as Christians have a number of reasons why we should support the legalization of marriage for all, but the main one is for Constitutional protection. The only reason for passing such laws tends to come with a religious attitude, which is improper. If nothing else, a sense of self-preservation. Right now Christianity may be the predominant religion in this country, but how long is that going to last? Both paganism and Islam are growing at a much faster pace than Christianity in general, even more than traditional evangelicalism. If we have established that it's ok to pass a law because the predominant religion says it's ok, what happens when a different religion becomes more popular?

Further, let me just say that as both a Christian and a Libertarian, I am VERY bothered by the government and the church both getting involved in an issue that I think at best muddles their two divergent areas of responsibility. Marriage can either be A: a religious ceremony and agreement, sanctified by God and performed by the Church, between two people, whose identities are largely determined by that individual church's teachings on the Word of God. or B: a legal contract issued and controlled by the government of a given region, signed and agreed to by two adults, recognized by a governmental agency for certain legal and financial reasons. While many couples choose to connect themselves by both method, they are NOT the same thing, despite using the same name. There should not be a confusing of the two practices in the public mindset, the Church(here understood as the Church Cosmic, not a man-made organization with names connected to denominations, streets, and/or suburb names) should not be getting involved in the legal definition of the governmental contract any more than we would welcome the government to get involved in the application of a religious ritual.

Also, as a side note, to my friends who are openly involved or sympathize with the gay community, when you hear statement made by churches(man made organizations) in the public forum regarding this topic, what is your general reaction? (side note, extremist organizations such as "God Hates Fags" are worthless pieces of trash, at best there is an especially lonely spot in Hell reserved for them, I'd also be willing to go along with a case being made for them being considered demon possessed) As the Church(cosmic, not man made) which is our greater responsibility, getting someone like George W. Bush elected or reaching out to the members of our community with love and grace and servitude?

End of rant

2009-05-10T13:50:00.001-04:00

The problem with being such a coffee snob that I prefer the french press is that I don't have a quick and easy way to make coffee when I'm craving it but too lazy to make it.

2009-05-10T11:14:00.001-04:00

I'd have a lot easier time focusing at church this morning if i didn't have the song "Code Monkey" stuck in my head. Jesus doesn't necessarily like fritos

2009-05-10T11:11:00.001-04:00

Listened to a podcast this morning of a place called "church at trash" really cool and interesting. Will blog more about it later.

So...

2009-05-09T00:49:00.000-04:00

So apparently, my license has been suspended by the Great State of Ohio. This is bad, how bad will be determined by the phone call I will attempt to make tomorrow morning(though it's possible the necessary office won't be open until monday, because government agencies rarely care about serving the public) I thought I'd be covered since there's a bus stop outside of work, but as it turns out that bus stop does not serve my schedule, and in fact, barely serves the necessary address. I'm trying very, very hard to not freak out or become overly depressed at this moment, but I'm wondering in the back of my head what other options there are. I'm terrified, frustrated, paranoid, depressed, and very angry, all at the same time.

I really, really don't know what I'm going to do.

I've now been up talking for twenty four hours and still going strong. Gotta love coffee

2009-05-07T08:45:00.001-04:00

I had a fantastic evening. After a particularly long day at work, I was very happy to come home and find my friend Marianne on the internet. As is slowly becoming customary, we went to IHOP on Ridge Ave. and proceeded to spend the entire evening talking. Followed by this, I went home briefly to put on pants(I'd been wearing shorts, but the zipper busted), and to grab a DVD. We then watched "A Mighty Wind"(though my overcaffinated brain wouldn't let me stop talking during it) followed by "Jane Austen's Persuasion." After this movie mini-marathon we then went to BD's for Mongolian Bbq. All in all, about thirteen hours.

I cannot express enough how thankful I am for having found a great new friendship.She's an amazing person to hang out with, and I can't remember the last time I enjoyed talking to someone this much.

2009-05-06T20:15:00.001-04:00

Listening to people on the phone and drinking white castle coffee to try to stay awake. Only forty five minutes left in my day

Bugger

2009-05-06T13:05:00.000-04:00

So Jaclyn's been texting me, just to say hi, I guess. She always asks if I'm "doing ok?" I never know how to respond, so I act like everything is fine, like I'm chipper and on top of the world, but the truth is there's a part of me that wants to scream everytime I think of her, and a part of me that just wants to cry.

This is a woman who I made love to for over a year, the first woman I felt comfortable around, the first woman who I really felt was a true friend. There are shared memories there, of taking her to see my parents for the first time at Easter, of talking to her on the phone for hours, of our vacation to Gatlinburg, and our Valentine's day gettaways.

I was on the phone with a customer the other day, and they asked if I had any kids, and my response was "no" and I felt like I wanted to cry. You see, not that long ago my answer would have been yes, I'd grown to think of Bella as my daughter, or step-daughter, at least, for whatever a difference the word "step" makes. I'd played with her, babysat, changed diapers, loaded her into my car, and held her when she cried. I put pictures of her up at my desk, and imagined talking to her about boys, and building her up to have the confidence to stand up to them when she was older.

And yet, I know that I've given that up, first, Jaclyn was never going to be able to share my faith with me the way I truly wanted, for all the lying I did to myself. Raising kids in that situation would have eventually left me mad and isolated. We were never going to connect that way, it just wouldn't happen.

And while that should be the most important reason, the one that always comes to my mind, the one that makes me want to scream, is that she never really loved me the same way I loved her. We broke up because, even though I made her happy, she decided I wasn't worth the trouble it would take to keep things going. She could rearange her life for me, like I would for her. There will always be that knowlege that I just wasn't good enough, that while I was nice to have around, to use, to draw stability from, ultimately, I wasn't worth her time.

I'm left wondering if it will always be this way. I know there are women out there, I've met wonderful, awesome women who I enjoy spending time with and talking to. Even women who can share my faith in God, and I can connect with in a dimension that was always closed to me before. But I have to wonder, am I the kind of man that a woman can really love? I've always been that guy that women tell, "Oh, you're so sweet, you'll make some other woman so very happy one day." Like they can see that I'm an ok guy, but in the end, I'm just not the Prince Charming they're looking for. Is it because Im just too boring? or something else?

Why do women go for the guys who resist them? What is it that women like about a guy who rejects them at first? And why is it I've always seemed ill-equipped for this kind of game? I can't fake disinterest, or play the cooly aloof guy, who could take you or leave you. I wear my heart on my sleeve and fall not only head over heels, but go charging in face first, only to hit a very hard, very rough, very painful brick wall.

Maybe I'm just too emotional, need to bottle it up more, talk less, and sit in the back of more smoky coffee houses, reading books and pretending not to care.

2009-05-06T00:38:00.001-04:00

"God is less concerned about you keeping the rules and more concerned that you become the kind of person who wants to keep the rules." -Dallas Willard

2009-05-05T16:13:00.001-04:00

Ok time to take a power nap on my lunch break.

2009-05-05T11:06:00.001-04:00

They were playing Maid of Honor at the gym this morning. Why do I enjoy that movie so much? Does that say something uncomfortable about my manhood? :P

2009-05-05T01:19:00.001-04:00

"Thank God for model trains. If it weren't for model trains they'd never have gotten the idea to build the big ones."

2009-05-04T21:17:00.001-04:00

Finally off work!

2009-05-04T08:51:00.001-04:00

Oh snooze button. You are the enemy of my productivity

2009-05-04T00:33:00.001-04:00

Why must my neighbors put a password lock on their wiFi? Are they so afraid I'm going to try to steal some? (cause i would if i could)

To throw yourself on Christ's righteousness means no longer concerning yourself with your righteousness, only his. Huh, neato!

2009-05-03T01:43:00.001-04:00

So last night, because of a lack of internet, I found myself listening to mp3 recordings of some of the lectures from VLI. I have to say, looking back, this was probably the best feature of those classes. Having them as a resource to go back to time and time again has often been incredibly valuable.

The lecture I was listening to last night was from the class on Pauline Literature, and Dr. Steve was talking about the major points of Paul's underlying theology. He was going over what it meant to "throw yourself on the grace of God," and it got me thinking. It's been so long since I truly felt like I was in His grace, and yet I always was. I'm really trying very hard to get back to that person I was, just older and in some ways smarter. I've got a few more war wounds, but I can't help but crave that feeling of falling under him. Of following and trusting, even when my whole life was crashing down around me. I can't shake this feeling that I'm on the crust of some kind of change, of a re-dedication to the trust and the faith. I spent years studying his word and how to teach it, and while I still am not sure that the ministry profession is what he's calling me to, I know I need to put that investment to work somehow. The key is, this time around I don't want it to be about me, I just have to figure out what that means. I don't want to let myself get ahead of things, but I want a chance to grow.

2009-05-03T00:05:00.001-04:00

I find myself with cider and listening to a lecture on pauline literature. Good times

2009-05-02T22:14:00.001-04:00

Well. Internet is still out at my house. Anybody up for coffee tonight? My ADD is going wild with no world wide web to distract it.

2009-05-02T21:58:00.001-04:00

Off to go home to enjoy some nice woodchuck and the stars

2009-05-02T19:13:00.001-04:00

Culver's burgers are absolutely amazing...even if they are horribly bad for me. :P

2009-05-02T18:28:00.001-04:00

I really just wanna run away and join a radio variety show

2009-05-02T18:04:00.001-04:00

On my lunch break and listening to Prairie Home Companion. My sweet sweet someone...

2009-05-02T16:06:00.001-04:00

#blogging testing my blogging ping update group

2009-05-02T16:03:00.001-04:00

wishing I was home, or better yet, fishin

2009-05-02T14:31:00.001-04:00

What would you all think if i dyed my hair to have a grey streak in it a la Doctor Strange?

2009-05-02T14:28:00.001-04:00

The model they chose for our mothers day magazine advertisements is really really freaky looking. One too many face lifts i think

2009-05-02T11:36:00.001-04:00

Yeah. So i'm looking for a job again. Anybody know of any good job fairs coming up?

2009-05-01T22:05:00.001-04:00

Bored and have no internet. You should text andor call me

2009-04-30T10:34:00.001-04:00

Ok, went to bed at 7:15 a.m. this morning. Woke up at 10:25 a.m, feeling like I was vibrating on a molecular level.(more than usual, I mean)

2009-04-30T07:07:00.001-04:00

Just had an evening of great conversation and coffee. Now if I can just get my overcaffinated brain to shut down since it's now after 7 a.m. and I haven't slept in a while.

2009-04-29T09:24:00.001-04:00

Ugh, I really, really want to go back to bed and just say forget it.

My bad

2009-04-29T05:32:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I just realized, I'm an idiot. "Mad World" is sang by Tears for Fears, not Duran Duran, no clue why I made that mistake, could it be the lack of sleep? Anyways, I apologize heartily and pledge to now go and commit seppuku as a way of making up for it, oh and giving you a video for the right song. So great.

Neeeneeeneeeneeeneeeneeeneeeneee

2009-04-29T05:31:00.000-04:00

Ugh

2009-04-29T04:57:00.000-04:00

So it's just about five a.m., and I'm up.

This doesn't bode well for the day.

I woke up about thirty minutes ago from a dream that I will simply say was weird. Amongst other things it was set to a soundtrack consisting entirely of "Hungry like the wolf" by Duran Duran.(I know, I know, "Mad World" by the same is such a superior song, but for this dream, wolf makes more sense) Now I've been sitting up thinking over a memory that has bugged me off an on over the years.

When I was a freshman in high school, I had just switched schools, junior high was quite possibly the most miserable time of my entire life for a lot of beaten up, mocked, socially outcast, and sleeping in raw sewage kinds of ways. There was a lot of hope both on my part and my family's that the move would allow me to finally come out of my shell and grow into a barely socially acceptable human being. Well, my birthday,(which falls in September, btw) came around and my parents decided to throw what was one of maybe three birthday parties I've had in my entire life. The girl I was "dating"(it was high school and I could drive, dating consisted of trying to make out in the hallways of a VERY small school) came over. My parents got me a great present, a cd player! You laugh now, but this thing was the highlight of the party, I'd never owned one before and had become convinced I never would.(money was almost always tight growing up) And as my first and only cd? My older cousin Jon(who always managed to be the cool one) got me a copy of the latest Boyz II Men album. What did I do? How did I react? What eloquent words did I use to thank my cousin who was obviously trying to teach me to be cool and acceptable? I whined and pitche a fit because I didn't get a freakin elton John album. What was wrong with me? What in life led me to be such a self centered buttwipe who failed so completely to show gratitude when it was due?

So here I am, now 5:15(apparently it takes a while for me to put thoughts into words) and I'm sitting up thinking of a transgression over ten years old and feeling overwhelmingly guilty for it.(once again proving I'm still a self centered jerk who thinks you should care about my early morning/late night guilt) I'm filling my ADD moments with reading up on some friends blogs, specifically James Daniel Ross(www.radiationangels.com) and Marianne Scott(no relation) (http://ubermarianne.com) Reading Mr. Ross because for the longest time I haven't been able to get his site to load, so now I'm catching up on the posts I missed out on(his stories are great, one of the best military scifi and fantasy authors out there, plus, He's from Cincinnati!) and Mz. Scott because we've just met(not really, I met her a few years back, but only recently just started having conversation) and she mistakenly sent me a link to her blog, not realizing I'm an insomniac who will read anything put in front of me, and that I'm egotistical enough to think my comments on every word are not only necessary but asked for.

I also find myself listening to Boyz II Men and emailing my dad asking for Jon's number, I'm gonna call him this afternoon and apologize, and hope he doesn't laugh in my face.

2009-04-29T02:43:00.001-04:00

I really need to thank Ron for mentioning ping.fm in a status message, this should make updating easier...

So...

2009-04-29T01:42:00.000-04:00

So I have no idea what to talk about, I have five blog ideas this afternoon, and now my brain is too fried to do any of them. I have ideas bouncing around in my head to talk about my favorite t.v. shows(Fringe, House, Bones, Dollhouse, etc.), what I look for in a significant other, how much I want to find an older Christian guy to be a mentor to me, how much I want to get my life back together, what I want to be when I grow up,(hint, either a father or Buckaroo Banzai, maybe both) or to report on my recent experiments with roasting my own coffee beans. The problem is, after a day of work and then the gym, my mind won't work properly to put that many sentences together, and I really want to go to bed. Maybe I'll try all of the above and more later, at least by Thursday night when I've got a day off coming so I can indulge in late night coffee...We shall see...

Music

2009-04-26T23:55:00.000-04:00

I miss making music, mostly singing. I sing all the time, in the car, when I'm working around the house, when I'm on hold at work, but what I really miss is singing with a group. I miss that feeling I would get when the song would come to a high point, and I would hear the rest of the choir singing together. That feeling of being a part of something, of artistic creation occurring within a group. I tried to find a group around here that I could join, but my schedule is still so unreliable as to not allow for that kind of commitment.

On the road again...

2009-04-26T18:45:00.001-04:00

Well, it's been more than a year since I've touched this page, and after some nagging...er, I mean, encouragement, I've decided to try picking it back up. Much has changed, Jaclyn and I are no longer together, I've found(for the moment) a steady job which doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and I no longer(for the moment) work with churches. I've found myself once again on the verge of some kind of change, and I'm thinking this should help me get my thoughts down in words so that I can better plan for whatever is about to come.

I find more and more...

2008-01-04T16:41:00.001-05:00

I find more and more that I'm not used to happen to being so happy. Jaclyn has been very good to me. She came over lastnight, I gave them a chance to spend an evening taking care of her and just given her a nice romantic evening and it was a lot of fun and more than anything else what I kinda enjoyed was just being able to do that for somebody spend a while and just. listen

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Am I the only one who...

2008-01-02T00:27:00.001-05:00

Am I the only one who misses good horror movies? Am I the only one who wishes there was something out there that could really scare me,? Just once, I missed the feeling of nightmare so as a kid of being afraid to fall asleep. I missed that feeling of saying there's a boogie monster under the bed. Am I the only one who feels this way? If you have any suggestions of a way to itch this little scratch, let me know. listen

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I have a new thing that...

2008-01-01T23:41:00.001-05:00

I have a new thing that I'm trying out. I found a program online that is called Jott. What it lets me do is that I call from my cellphone and then I say whatever it is I want to blog. It then transcribes what I'm saying and posts it as a blog. I find this terribly interesting. listen

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So...

2008-01-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a blogging whore.

No, seriously, if you show me a social interaction website that contains even the sliver of a blogging feature, I'll probably sign up. Why? Well, the truth is, I love the sound of my own voice. I love to think out loud and pretend like the words I'm saying are in need of recording for posterity. I like to believe that I'm thought provoking, and that somehow I'll push you to greater heights of conjecture, just with my little article on the nature of the way people order their coffee.

2008-01-01T18:45:00.000-05:00