It was the night after we arrived in D.C.,and the Passover, the holiday to celebrate our freedom and the end of foreign oppression, was coming. We hadn't really talked about it, but everyone assumed that Jesus was going to be doing something special for the celebration. In fact, we'd assumed it was most of the reason he'd had us drive to D.C. in the first place. We asked Jesus where he wanted to celebrate at, and He looked at James and John and told them to go to the east side of town, and a man would be unloading a delivery truck. They were supposed to tell him that the teacher wanted a place to celebrate the Meal at, and the man would show them the place. Sure enough, right after following Jesus' directions, they found a man unloading a truck, who happened to be a catering company manager, and he was able to set us up with a room, which was a larger space above his normal gathering hall. For the dinner, we were set up with cushions on the floor, seated around an only slightly raised table. The room was lit with candles, so it was still fairly dark when we sat down for dinner at sundown. We all sat around the table, and some of us had to lean against each other to stay up.(especially as we got drinking the wine later).
At first there was an awkward bit at the beginning. You see, traditionally, you’re supposed to have a servant come around and wash everyone’s feet before the dinner could begin, but we didn’t have a servant. When we rented the room, there was a large party already renting the hall downstairs, and the catering staff were all tied up down there. We sat around looking at each other, wondering who would get stuck with it, when Jesus got up. I figured he was going to walk over and ask James to take care of the washing. My brother James was the youngest of the group, and honestly he mostly just did gopher work most of the time anyways, so I was pretty sure Jesus was going to give him a hard time for not getting started earlier. Sure enough, Jesus went to the back of the room where a bin and some towels were set aside for the washing, then brought them over to where James was sitting. Then Jesus did something I absolutely was not expecting. He poured out water into the bin, got down on his knees, then he started washing James’ feet. The look on my brother’s face was something like what I was feeling. He looked horrified, embarrassed, and just about to jump out of his own skin. Jesus was not supposed to be doing this. He absolutely should not have been the one to wash ANYONE’s feet, let alone the youngest person among us.
That’s when Jesus took it to the next level. He finished up with James, and naturally, I assumed he’d hand the bin over to James to wash the next person’s feet. We’d all take turns, and it would be fair. No one was stuck in the servant’s position, and because Jesus started the chain, no one would have to be embarrassed by it. Instead of that very natural plan, one that I was sitting there feeling smug for figuring out what Jesus was doing, he instead did something completely against that. He was moving over to start washing the next person’s feet. Mine.
I was so caught up in my thoughts of trying to figure out Jesus’ intention, I hadn’t even noticed he’d moved over to the spot in front of me. He was pulling off my shoes, then tugging at my socks. I looked up at John and Peter, and sure enough they were looking just as freaked out as I was. Thomas was rocking back and forth in his seat like he was just about to jump up and start yelling at Jesus to get back in his seat so that someone else could take over. Judas just looked like a stone. His face was set like granite, not moving an inch. He stayed that way through the whole process, and I noticed even then that he didn’t make eye contact with Jesus the whole time he was getting his feet washed. Peter tried to start arguing at one point, but Jesus had simply said, “If you can’t let me do this, you can’t be a part of who I am” That shut us all up for good
Finally, it was all done, the bin and towels were put back, and Jesus returned to his seat in absolute silence. He looked around the room with this serious face and said, “Do you all understand what I’ve done here tonight? The world we’re building, the kind of life we’re going to make, it’s not about who’s the most powerful, or who sits in the seat of greatest honor. It’s about whether or not you’re willing to serve the person next to you. Whether you can put other people ahead of you.” He pointed at the wall almost angrily and continued, “Out there it’s all about ‘get yours.’ They tell you it’s a cut throat world, and you have to do whatever you can to get to the top, but that’s not what you’re going to do if you’re with me. If you’re with me, you’re going to feed the ones who can’t pay you back. You’re going to put clothes on the people who’d be naked otherwise. You’re going to watch out for those people that the rest of the world says they hate, or that they try to shut out, and you’re going to take care of them. If you’re going to belong to me, you’re going to get dirty. You’re going to get looked down upon, because you don’t belong to them. You’re not a part of their system. You aren’t going to keep the cycle of killing. of taking an eye for eye, going. You’re going to forgive. You’re going to love.”
We just kept staring at him. Some of us were glancing around, like we were wondering if someone else in the room was getting it, and maybe we were just the stupid ones. He kept going, getting weirder. “I am like a tree, and each of you are branches that grow off of me. I’ll hold you up and connect you to my father, who is the roots. The sun will shine down on us, and we’ll grown above the weeds and the dead things, to reach to the sky, and we can stand against anything. You don’t have to do the heavy lifting, that’s on me. I’m going to be lifted up, but the father will support me. I’m about to go, and where I’m going, you won’t be able to follow for now, but I’ll make a place for you there. My father’s house is huge, and there’s room for everyone there. We’re going to make this place ours. They’ll think they’re winning for a little while longer, but soon they’ll see.”
He looked around the room, with his eyebrows raised and his eyes wide, with this look on his face that said, “do you get it?” His hands held out and shaking. We were all just dumbfounded, like kids who, on the day of the final exam, realized they hadn’t studied, didn’t bring notes, and in fact that been attending the wrong classes lectures all along. Obviously frustrated, he sighed, dropped his hands-slapping them on his lap, and stood up. He went to get the food and came back. “It’s like this,” he said as he held up the food and wine, which he started passing around. This bread is my body, and this wine is my blood. When you take me, who I am,as part of you, you’re changed. You’re going to be finding out you’re a part of something new. I’m going to show you all something truly wonderful. But not all of you will see it.” On this last bit, he started to look sad.
“Sir, what do you mean? None of us are going to leave you at this point. We’re bought in” Thank goodness for Peter, because he was always willing to ask what the rest of us were thinking, but were just too scared of looking stupid to say it out loud.
Jesus looked around at all of us, thinking back now, I feel like he lingered on Judas for a while but maybe it was my imagination. Landing back at Peter, he said, “Peter, all of you are going to abandon me by morning”
Before anyone could respond, Pete was on his feet, flailing his arms, “That’s ridiculous! Never happen! I’m in man, I gave up on everything else to be here!”
Jesus said back to him, “Peter, by this time tomorrow, you’re going to lie three times and say you don’t even know me.” In the hushed silence that followed THAT statement, while the rest of us were still staring at Peter, Jesus finished passing around the food and wine, giving the last plate and glass to Judas. I briefly overheard him say, “I know what you’re going to do, it’s time to go do it.”
The next night, I kicked myself when I had thought back to that moment. I wished I’d looked up at what Jesus was doing, I wondered if I’d seen Judas’ face if I would have realized what was going on. Even knowing now that it was set to work out the way it did, I still wonder if I might have spotted something in his face. As it was, the rest of us didn’t even catch that something had happened until we looked back from staring at Peter to realize that Judas was leaving, tossing back the wine, but leaving his food untouched. He threw on his coat and ran out of the room. Now you have to realize, Judas was in charge of our money, so some of us just assumed that maybe he was running out to buy something for the dinner that had been forgotten earlier, or if he had something else he had to do that he and Jesus had discussed earlier. It’s a good thing that none of us put it together then, because we probably would have tossed him out of the window otherwise.
Later, when the food was eaten and the wine consumed, we left out into the night. I’m not sure how much we all drank that night, but I know for myself I’d had enough that all the confusion of earlier was forgotten. We were singing the traditional songs, blaring at the tops of our lungs into the night, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is Good, His mercy fights on forever!” Jesus lead us through the streets to a local park, where we could be alone. He said he wanted to pray. The rest of us didn’t notice at the time, but looking back I’m sure he was on edge. We all sat down on some benches, while he walked away deeper into the trees.I’m not sure how long he was gone praying when he came back. We’d all fallen asleep,(did I mention the wine?) but as I was waking up, I could see by his face that he’d been crying. He shouted that we couldn’t leave him, then turned around to go back to praying. We tried, we really did. Again, like I have so many times, I’m frustrated with myself that I couldn’t make the effort to keep awake for just a while longer, but it had been such a long day, and of course, none of us knew what was coming next.
Again, I don’t know how long we were asleep, but Jesus came back out, shaking us all awake, and saying to each of us, “it’s coming.” He looked up, and the last of us were standing up, just as a crowd of cops showed up with Judas.
That ...look, right now, even years later, as I’m describing this, the words that come to mind that I want to use to describe Judas are not at all polite or appropriate. I know we’re supposed to forgive, and I find myself teach every day that mercy is something we’re supposed to live by, but I just haven’t gotten to a point that I can forgive Judas yet, but I’m still praying about it.
Anyways, he walked up to Jesus and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him like they were old friends coming together after a long journey. We were all nervous, of course, the cops had their guns out, and no one knew what was going on. Jesus looked at Judas with this shocked and hurt expression and said, “Judas, is this how you betray me? Like a brother?” Judas, paused for only a moment before he put his arm around Jesus’ shoulders and turned to the officers and raised his hand. They came forward, and one of them started to put hand cuffs on Jesus.
“Oh HELL no!” Peter pulled out a switchblade, and James and John both raised their fists. Peter jumped forward and took a swipe at one of the cops, blood splashed out, and the cops had their guns raised.
“STOP!” Jesus’ voice rang out, his hands, one of the wrists dangling a pair of cuffs from them were lifted up. We all froze, the cops too. It was like he had everything centered on him for just one moment. It was a moment in time frozen in ice, and Jesus stepped forward. The sheriff’s deputy Peter had tried to kill was holding his hands to his face and head, blood pouring out, there was a piece of ear on the ground. Jesus bent over to grab the ear, then put his hand to the officer’s face. It was just a second that their eyes met, and the blood stopped. When Jesus stepped back, I could see dried blood on the man’s face, but his ear and the rest of him was fine, not even a scratch, looking at us, he said, “That’s not how we work.” The weapons were put away, eyes went down. Then Jesus turned to the rest of the cops and said, “Why are you here?”
Two men in suits came forward, “You’re under arrest for charges relating to terrorism and treason. You’re coming with us.”
Jesus looked around, holding out his hands, “I teach everyday out in public, where everyone can see, why didn’t you arrest me then? Why come here in the middle of the night while I’m alone? You get tonight, while it’s dark, but the morning is coming, and you’re going to have to face the dawn.” The man in the suit who’d spoken rolled his eyes and waved his hands at the uniformed officers, they finished handcuffing Jesus and started to walk away. For a moment, we were all expecting to be arrested too, but it was like we weren’t even there, they ignored us completely.
After that, it moved fast. Jesus was taken into custody, we weren’t able to follow, but someone said a court was already formed to hear the charges, he wouldn’t be tried in public due to “national security,” but he was arraigned. He refused to enter a plea, so the judge entered not guilty on his behalf. After that, he was taken to some hotel, which at first we couldn’t figure out since we’d expected him to go to jail, but Thomas had an old law school friend who was working as a staffer in congress who let him know that several senators, cabinet members, and others had been called for a late night conference. It looked like they were questioning Jesus, and he was going to be facing a full trial soon. We all hopped in a van and drove over there. We couldn’t all get in, but Thomas’ friend was able to Thomas, Peter, John, and myself into the lobby, where several other staffers were waiting around. There were armed guys in suits walking around, and they kept looking at us in a way that was getting us really nervous. There were closed circuit tvs set up, watching the session. It looked like they were trying to decide exactly what Jesus was going to be charged with. The senators and whatnot were all sitting at a long table, and they kept bringing up different witnesses. One tried claiming that Jesus had been encouraging them to make bombs, another was saying that he’d been telling people to set government buildings on fire. Thomas’ staffer friend shook his head and mentioned something about paid informants being worthless.
Finally, one of the senators looked at Jesus and asked him if he had anything to say. Jesus sat there quietly. Another man started talking, went on about how they were just trying to get to the truth, that Jesus just had to give his side of the story. They asked him if he was really trying to lead a rebellion, or if he’d encouraged others to overthrow the government. While we were watching, one of the women staffers asked if we were with a representative's office, or if we were friends of Jesus. I wasn't sure how to answer, but Peter quickly responded that we were with Representative Brown's office, and then pointed at the screen showing Jesus and made a snort/laughing gesture. She gave him a weird look, but left us alone.
"Figured there had to be a representative Brown somewhere," was all Peter had to say to us when she finally walked away.
Back on the screens, Jesus was responding. “I am not here to lead you. My kingdom is going to show up, and my father will take this world back, but this isn’t my father’s kingdom yet, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to bring me here. You’re just playing at the wind, but the storm is coming, and it’s going to bring a new rain, and feed a new harvest.”
“This is ridiculous, I think we’ve heard enough” The man sitting in the middle of the table said. He waved his hand, and a man in a suit, his jacket just barely hiding his gun holster, came oable to bring me here tonight. You're fighting against the wind, but there's a storm coming, and it's bringing a rain to raise a new harvest, while you're going to be left for the trash pile."
The man seated at the center of the table waved his hand in the air, and the microphone Jesus was using suddenly cut out. "I think we've heard enough. If you can't be respectful of this committee, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for you." Two armed men came forward to take Jesus. Meanwhile, a man in a suit who's jacket just barely hid his gun holster leaned over to whisper to the lead senator. After a few moments, he motioned to the armed guards and they lead Jesus out of the room. Thomas' friend turned to tell us that they were moving Jesus to a holding facility, and he could get us a seat with the caravan as long as we could pretend to be office assistants. John was definitely not going to pass, but Peter and I could probably come along. We went outside and got into a big passenger van that all the switched out to look like a mobile conference room. The news was on, and they'd started running the story of Jesus' arrest with full storm. They had clips of the whole mess at the church building playing, and had even gotten an interview with Jesus' brother talking about how Jesus had always been "troubled" as a kid, and that maybe he could finally get the treatment he obviously needed. (Fun note, the brother came over to our side later, and he tells the story of that interview to this day as a part of his testimony about Jesus) The press was playing the "Jesus is a crazy dangerous loner" angle to the hilt, but nevermind that they'd been discussing him as a candidate for president just the week before.
The van pulled out of the parking lot, and started to follow a whole host of vans and trucks. Thomas’ friend mentioned that Jesus was in the back of a humvee up closer to the front, riding with a group of soldiers. We drove for a while, and the group in the van settled into conversation, mostly about some couple in the office who’d been caught in a closet together at a party the week before. We didn’t say much to join in, so some guy in a shirt and tie with a jaw that screamed “all state quarterback” looked up and asked us which office we were with, but before we could answer, he shifted gears and asked us if we were, you know, with “him” motioning up towards the truck where Jesus sat. Again, Peter was the fast thinker who hurriedly mentioned we were from the Chicago office, then asked if anyone had heard about Deborah. This launched into a whole nother discussion of gossip, and Pete gave me that look that showed he had it under control.
It was about ten minutes after that we realized we’d passed the facility where they were supposed to be taking Jesus. Quarterback guy started to ask when the guard driving the van just said, “detour” in a tone that also said “don’t ask questions. We left the city limits and just kept driving into the night. I tried to think how long it had been since the garden, and before that dinner. A few hours? It felt like days. And it didn’t help that this “detour” was tying my guts into knots.
It took a bit, but we eventually turned down a series of side roads, until we started to slow down on a dirt road. I saw a bonfire with figures standing around. It wasn’t until we stopped that I finally saw the thing that made everything inside me freeze.
The people standing around were wearing robes and white hoods.
After we stopped, the guard driving turned to us and shouted, “stay here” while he got out. We could see out the window that they were gathering up ahead around of the humvee. For a moment, we thought the guards were going to keep the mob from getting to Jesus, then we saw them, the sheriff’s deputies, the guys in suits, the soldiers, they were all pulling on the white hoods. That was then they brought Jesus out. The dragged him over to the fire. The crowd was gathered around to watch, so Peter and I got out. They were taking Jesus’ clothes from him, passing them back, dividing up his things, like they were trophies to be kept to remember the evening by. One of the guards pushed him to the ground, and they all started kicking him, his shoulders, stomach, head, everywhere they could get a good hit in. Finally, one of them picked him up by the hair, and dragged him over to a tree stump, bending him over it and tying his hands. Someone else brought out a freaking whip, which it looked like was studded for a second, until we got closer I could see it had razor blades and fish hooks shoved in various spots. They started beating Jesus with it, taking turns to see who could get in the best shot. Pieces of skin came off, wet and red with blood, then hunks of flesh followed, his back muscles torn bit by bit. Someone started passing out beer. It was like they were having a party.
Just when I thought it could get any worse, someone started backing up a pickup truck, then came out with some rope. At first, I thought they were going to drag Jesus through the field with the truck, then I saw their plan. They tied a noose up, then put it around his neck as they made him stand on the back of the truck bed. The rope was pulled taught on a tree branch, and the truck’s engine was revved loudly. The drunken hooded crowd started to cheer, as broken bottles were thrown at Jesus. One of the guards turned and did a double take as he noticed us standing behind them. He pointed at us and shouted to get back in the van, just as someone else, I think the woman from earlier, started to say that we were friends of Jesus. A few other armed and cloaked heads turned our way, guns started to angle up. Again, Peter jumped to action, “No way. Not with that guy. Then Peter picked up a clod of dirt and threw it in Jesus’ direction. It was at that second that Jesus looked at us, and he met Peter’s eyes. That was all we could take. We went back to the van.
As we were walking back, we heard the crowd begin counting down from ten. We turned back, just in time to see the truck pull away, leaving Jesus hanging from the tree.
