Rules (Part One)

So at men's ministry night last week, we heard from the pastor of the Christ's Chapel in Florence, and he shared with us seven "rules" to live by. (Biblically based) As part of the message, he challenged the men there to take time to write their own "rules to live by." Now here's the thing, at this point, I've been learning more and more that I know far less than I'd like to believe I do, and have even less business telling others how they should live their lives. But what I can do, is share what lessons I've learned and see if maybe they apply to you. So instead of giving my "Rules to Live By," I'll share with you my "Rules I've Lived By(and Failed)" in other words, the rules that I can tell I've followed that have gotten me into trouble, along with some suggested rules that maybe you could follow instead. I'll take this in pieces, so starting with rule one.... "Love Unconditionally" Now, at first glance, this seems like a good rule, and in many ways, it is. Loving someone, truly, deeply, 1 Corinthians 13ly, loving someone, does require the sense of "unconditional." What I'm talking about here is less "love" and more "in love," or romantic infatuation. There have been many times in my life when I've fallen "in love." And I've always managed to go head over heels, no matter what logic or reason or advice of well meaning friends may say. I've given myself over completely, devoting everything I can to that person. Here's the problem with that, I never stopped to consider how that person felt. Nine times out of ten when I've pursued this path, it was chasing someone who had no where near the same sense of feelings about me. In some cases, it may have been that they had some feelings towards me, but no where near to the degree I was pursuing them, in which cases, I paid no heed and just poured on the steam from the engines and plowed forward at full speed, burying them under mountains of infatuation and worship. This, first of all, drowned out any sense of feelings or devotion that they may have had, smothering them under my full blown and unfiltered devotion. It's rude, it's self serving, and it's, in the long run, self destructive. Worse yet, there have been times when I go into this full blown mode when the other person had absolutely no such feelings about me. This became oftentimes either a violation, in which case I forced my feelings on a person who neither desired them, nor welcomed them, or it became an opening to abuse, when someone who genuinely did not care for me at all was given the invitation to take full advantage of my own idiotic desires and blindness. Alternate rule: "Respect Unconditionally." No matter what someone does, or who they are, show them the respect that you would given to an adult with their own thoughts, desires, and drives. Seek to get to know them for who they are, and show honesty when, and only when, they express a desire to get to know you the same way. Pay close attention to the level of relationship that they are seeking, and meet them there. Push for no more, and rejoice in the connections that are made.